There are several ways to tell if a date is not going lead to a 2nd date. If any of the following things are happening while you are on a date, get out of there – fast. If, like me, all of the following things happen during just one date, learn from this and RUN, run like it’s Kansas during twister season!!
The initial meeting
He was running late but he called to tell me he was running late, so that evens out. However within 10 minutes of meeting this man, he informed me that he lied about his age on his profile. He is several years older than he stated online.
To this I simply ask “why?” because I still would have met him if I had known his real age. And he gives me a long answer about keeping the older ladies away. I remind him that when one is dating ONLINE there is no obligation to meet anyone in person that you are not interested in – even if they are too old.
This is a minor red flag. But if the actual age is still age-appropriate for you, it’s forgivable. For me the actual age was fine, so I ordered a beer.
He “thinks” he’s funny!
The conversation is going ok, we laugh and then he asks, absurdly, about other men I have met on this site. I feel like this is irrelevant. Why would he want to hear about my other dates, unless he wants to bond over miserable dating experiences – and I don’t want to do that. I’m here to learn more about him. But he asked and then he asks if any other meetings had been “successful”.
Before I answer the question, I think to myself “Obviously not too successful seeing as how I’m on a date with someone else right now”. But I decide to go with the more absurd answer. I said “Well, the last guy I met told me that I was hotter than my picture, so I consider it a success”.
To which he replies “Did you pet his dog?” And I don’t immediately get the incredibly funny joke he is telling. So he explains that blind people have dogs.
PARDON?!?!?!?!?! This man (if we can still call him that) has just basically called me ugly within 1 hour of meeting me.
My mouth hangs agape as he laughs and says he’s joking and tells me I’m adorable. Based on the fact that I had a full, ice-cold beer I stayed to finish it. Which brings me to…
By the time I am ready to leave, I have had 2 beers. He has had 2 top shelf vodka on the rocks and 2 beers. He goes up to the bar to pay the tab (which is 80% his own alcohol) and when he comes back, he announces “Next time, drinks are on you”.
To which I laugh and say “Oh, really?” And he says “Or dinner or something”. So he has basically told me that if I were to see him again (he obviously hadn’t realized that ship had sailed) I was to be the one paying for his heavy drinking habit. To which I think to myself “Exhale buddy – that ain’t gonna happen”
So we leave the bar
We get up to leave and I think he still thinks he might see me again. But that doesn’t compel to be a gentleman in any way. Which is evidenced by him opening the door, walking through and letting it go – leaving me inside standing in front of a closed door. Soooo Classy!
Then he offers to walk me to my car. And I accept. I was parked 3 blocks from the bar – which is pretty close in La Jolla. After one block he complained about how far it was. I graciously relieved him of his duty and told him I would be fine walking the rest of the way myself. He kept walking with me.
At two blocks, he asked how much farther. I, again, assured him I could make it back to my car just fine without him. He kept walking with me. When we finally did get to my car I stopped walking. (Sidebar – my car was a 1993 Chevy S-10 pickup and it was 15 years old at the time – so it looked a little rough but it ran well so I was still driving it)
He saw my truck and promptly replied “This piece of shit is your car?” If he hadn’t won me over by then, I was completely smitten by that gem of tenderness!
I was 100% certain that I would never see this guy again. But he wasn’t. I got an email from him the following week asking me how I was and how my week was going. I suspect he was fishing for me to offer to take him out and buy him drinks (like a sugar daddy with a new, hot, young mistress). So, I responded by telling him my week was going great and asked how his was going?
Funny, I never got a response to that email.
It’s crazy how both people can eventually tell when it’s not working out.